Thursday, December 20, 2012

Its been too long

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have posted on my blog. 10 months? Thats insane! So, as I write to you tonight, it is the "eve" of the "end of the world", at least in the Eastern time zone. It has actually BEEN the 21st for almost 12 hours in other parts of the world, so I am going to go out on a limb here and way we're ok. I still could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Earlier this year, which is only two posts ago, I wrote about my New Years Resolution. Eventually, based on my resolution to, "re find my passions, my hobbies, and be willing to try new ones." Around February, this resolution led me to label this year the "year of fears", and to try to overcome some of those fears. This fell into the "be willing to try new things" aspect of my resolution, and led to some amazing things.

First, a recap of the year, and some reasoning for why I didn't blog much. January through May, I was busy with my last semester of graduate school. I was working on my final paper, writing a paper with a professor of mine and some colleagues, teaching two classes and taking a class. Basically, I was very busy. I did get to take part in a conference at Bowling Green in Ohio, and it was an amazing experience. In addition, the paper I wrote with my professor has been accepted to the Western States Communication Association conference. Exciting stuff.

In March, I took to the sky and road for my first ever solo trip to visit my Grandma in Florida, meaning that I had to drive myself from the Tampa airport to her home. I also did most of the driving while I was visiting her. This was a HUGE step for me, in that up until that point, I had been terrified of driving any highway except for the one closest to my hometown. Overcoming this fear made me feel like I could do anything! Also, I got to drive a Mustang for the duration of my time visiting her, which was just way too fun. 

I graduated in May, and embarked upon a literary journey for about a month. I read several series that had been on the back burner for a long time, and had a blast doing it. This was also in the essence of the resolution, to re find my passions. My husband and I also committed to watching Battlestar Galactica, a show that affected me so deeply that I cannot even find words to mark my feelings. I also started doing Zumba on a weekly basis. I never saw myself being able to commit to any kind of exercise with that kind of regularity, but now I can't miss a week.

In July I took on one of my greatest foes-the crowd. I don't do well with crowds, and in March we had decided to go to the San Diego Comic Con. I had no idea that the trip would be so incredibly life changing. My husband and I used primarily public transportation while in San Diego, something that doesnt happen often in this area of the Midwest. We stood in lines that would typically drive me crazy, but during the whole thing I felt a strange peace. I also was in one of the most anticipated panels of Comic Con 2012...the Firefly panel. Seeing some of my favorite people in the same room as me made me feel something I cannot even describe. Later that afternoon, after my husband and I had moved almost all the way to the front, Joss Whedon, my icon, had a Q and A panel. I was 5 rows away from him, and I made the decision, after much back and forth in my head, to sit in the line to ask a question. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, as I am sure if I had actually made it to the microphone I wouldve passed out or been unable to utter anything comprehensible, I did not get to ask Joss Whedon my question. However, for me, it was a big deal to even go sit in that line to *maybe* get to ask him anything.

Also in July, my husband and I wanted to refinance our home. Rates were low, and it seemed like a good time. This went into the next big leap I/We took this year. After our home assessed for far less than we felt it was worth, this lit a fire under us to go look at other homes. I had been resistant to a move, and my husband asked what house would make me move. I drove him to a home, thinking that there was no way this house would be for sale anytime in the near future. I had babysat there as a teenager, and loved the place. 5 days later, it went up on the market. 14 days after that, we put a contract in on the home, and at the beginning of October we closed on the home. We now have two mortgages, and cannot wait to move into our dream home. We are currently renting it back to the original owners (another leap of faith) until their move.

Without my resolution and dubbing this year the "year of fear", I don't know that I would have been willing to do some of the things that I did this year. However, if I have learned anything this year, its that fears are there for a reason; to be conquered.